


That's death for ya

by Hungry_Skeleton



Category: Dungeons & Dragons (Roleplaying Game), Original Work
Genre: Backstory, Comedy, Dungeons & Dragons 5th Edition, Gen, Origin Story, POV First Person, POV Original Character, Swearing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-24
Updated: 2020-10-24
Packaged: 2021-03-08 21:55:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,625
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27183466
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hungry_Skeleton/pseuds/Hungry_Skeleton
Summary: Hey have you ever woken up under six feet of dirt in the middle of a forest?No?Just me then?Alright...
Kudos: 2





	That's death for ya

Fun fact about dirt: it's heavy. 

Especially when there's six feet of it piled on top of you. Not a very fun situation to be in, unfortunately, my earliest memory is just that. Now you can probably guess what my first thoughts were... 

"Where am I?"

"Why is it so dark?"

"Is this dirt?"

"It got in my mouth ew gross yes it is dirt"

"Why is it so humid down here?"

If you guessed any of the above you are correct. 

Saying it took me around a half an hour to dig myself out might be a bit generous. Luckily the dirt wasn't super compact so I could tear through it pretty decently. 

Another fun fact: the sun is very bright. 

Breaking to the surface was a lot to take in at once. The air was pretty chill compared to the humid earth I came up from, and the sun was almost blinding. It took me a moment or two to get my bearings. After falling over once or twice I finally stood up and found myself in a clearing in a forest. Behind me was the wall of a cliff, it appeared to have had the mouth of a cave in the center at somepoint, but it looks to have caved in on itself. 

Taking a step forward a heard a strange sound, like hollow rock clacking together. Another step forward revealed the source of the sound. 

"Oh, it's..... me?"

I stopped to look down at myself. The first thing I noticed was my awful clothes. Tattered grey rags hung off me, barely holding themselves together. Dirty work boots, a muddy bandanna, and a torn up straw hat decorated my body about as well as you would expect. Poorly. 

Seriously, who dressed me? Not me, hopefully!!

The second thing I noticed was my arms. They seemed a bit too thin and pale to be normal. My eyes traveled up my arm to my elbow, revealing it to be nothing but bone. 

"Ah... Okay."

"Wait."

I touched my hands to my chest. Rather then feeling skin, I felt bare ribs under the tattered cloth. I hastily pulled a dirty glove off my hand to reveal skeletal fingers underneath. As a final panicked reaction I put a hand to my face. One of my fingers fell into the hollow eye socket that I saw from. 

Now, not having skin is generally seen as a very not good thing. It's seen as a very bad thing as a matter of fact. Another bad thing is not having organs, which I also do not have. So overall, there was a whole lot of bad going on, which can leave a small man like me very distressed. 

My first instinct was to scream, I didn't really have a plan past that so I just stood there for like ten minutes. It wasn't even a fun ten minutes, I wouldn't recommend it. I mean, what _ARE_ you meant to do? It's not like I could just buy some new skin and organs! Well, that's not 100% true, I probably could but that just seems like a hassle. A really gross hassle too. 

I just sort of slipped my glove back on and kept walking. The moment was over, nothing much to do about it. Look, if you wake up in the dirt with no organs or skin, with no clue who you are or how you got there, you don't have many options in front of you. The best you can do is just get over it and start a life for yourself. You're a skeleton, this is your life now bitch, deal with it. 

I headed out of the clearing and walked deeper into the woods. I had absolutely no idea where I was going, I just hoped that if I walked in a straight line for long enough I'd find a town or maybe some cool rocks. I walked for about 4 hours, the rhythmic sounds of the forest kept me entertained. Part of me wanted to just walk forever, and never stop hearing the natural music of the environment. But alas, all songs must have a climax. 

I finally reached the edge of the woods and a dirt path stretched out in front of me, going right and left. I stepped out of the shrubs and onto the road. It seemed going left would lead me deeper into the wilderness, so I turned right and headed up the path. 

The further I walked the more I could hear the bustling sounds of a town ahead of me. The sounds of children yelling, carts rolling, and horses trotting grew louder in my skull. At last I found myself in the entry of a small town. On the archway above, a large wooden sign dangled, proudly proclaiming the town's name: "RIGHT-TURN". 

Honestly? Not a very good name in my opinion. Imagine how confusing that would be on a map! That's like naming your town "Stop". Just sounds inconvenient to me. 

Imagine the conversations:

"Hey, where do you live?"

"Right-turn."

"Right turn where?"

"No, Right-turn."

"Yeah, I heard you, right turn at what?"

"No, I live IN Right-turn!"

"What? How do you do that?"

See? Inconvenient. 

So... It didn't really occur to me that walking skeletons aren't exactly a normal occurrence. As I took my first steps into the town I froze at the sound of terrified screams. Before I could react, a tall, armored guard was pointing his spear in my face. 

I instinctively threw my hands up, "I-I JUST GOT HERE!!", was the first thing I could yelp out. 

The spear jerked backward as the guard looked at me with confused shock. 

He squinted at me, "You speak?"

I returned his confused look with one of my own. 

"Do I speak? Of course I speak! What kind of question is that?"

His spear lowered as I continued, "Well, I suppose it might be a bit surprising... seeing as I don't have a tongue", I paused, "wait... how AM I speaking?"

The guard did a double take and attempted to get back to business. 

He raised his spear to me again, "Who is your master?"

"My WHAT?"

"Your master! Who gives you orders?"

I wasn't entirely sure what he was talking about, but that offended me a little bit... Was it because I'm a skeleton that he assumed I wasn't my own person? That I need some kind of "master" to tell me what to do? Maybe he's not assuming anything and I'm just an outlier, as far as I've seen I'm the only skeleton here and I certainly don't have a master! Maybe that's just a thing that I don't have, and other dead folk do... I don't know, I haven't met enough to say that's right. 

"No one gives me orders! I'm just me!", I declared to him. 

He gave me a suspicious glare before finally pointing the spear away from me, "You're coming with me, we're gonna get some truth out of you before we let you do anything here."

So much for not taking orders, I guess... 

Before I could object he (rather roughly) grabbed my wrist and started leading me further into town. I felt a hundred paranoid eyes on me, watching me from windows and behind buildings. I caught the eyes of a child who seemed to jump at my gaze and huddle to his friend who was trembling nearby. 

Why were they all so scared? Was it me? I hadn't even done anything... 

I attempted to lighten the mood a bit by making some small talk. 

"So... What are your hobbies?"

"Shut your trap, corpse."

"This is a fun conversation."

We arrived at a small jailhouse where I was promptly shoved into a holding cell. The guard signaled for me to wait while he exited the jailhouse and left me alone. I absentmindedly tapped on the metal bars keeping me contained and admired the soft dinging sound. I glanced at my arm as an idea popped into my skull.

I tugged at the ulna bone in my left arm and found that I could easily detach and reattach it. I tapped the bars with the bone and relished in the rich sounding chime that followed. I rang the bars more rhythmically till I had a decent melody. I pulled off my other ulna and used that one to scrape against the metal. I found myself tapping my foot to the song I was making. It wasn't half bad, I'll say!

Unfortunately, my song was brought to a halt when the guard returned with a high elf woman in flowing robes close behind him. I hastily reattached my bones and gave the newcomer my full attention. 

The high elf glanced down at me calmly, "Now, who might you be?"

I opened my mouth to answer but I realized I didn't have an answer to give her. 

Was was my name?

The deeper I searched into my memory the foggier things became. I had no idea who I was. 

"M-my..n.. Uh.... I.. "

"Do you not have a name?"

I shook my head, there wasn't any other answer I could give her. 

She breathed out and turned to the guard who proceed to take a few steps back. 

"Alright", she muttered, "let's see here..."

Turning back to me, the woman raised her hands in front of her and whispered a few words that I didn't understand. A small green mist appeared and vanished in her palms. Then, I felt something course through my bones. There was an odd feeling in my skull, like something was weaving through my mind. 

I know now that this is a Zone Of Truth spell. 

The high elf stood up straighter and gave me a stern yet calm glare. 

"Let's try this again", she spoke, "What is your name?"

"I don't know my name", the words left my mouth, but I did not say them. 

"Who is your master?"

"I don't have one."

"Where did you come from?"

"The dirt."

She cocked her head slightly, "Why are you here?'

"I walked here."

"Why did you walk here?"

"It was the first interesting place that I found."

As violating as I found this spell to be, I have to admit, it's pretty nifty. I'd rather not have anyone probing my mind for my sweet sweet secrets (which I don't have any of! Shhhh) but I had to respect it. It's a cool spell, not as cool as thunderwave, but I'd say it's pretty high on my list of neat spells. I do have that list, by the way, it's still a work in progress. 

The woman asked me one last question, "What do you plan to do here?"

"I don't know."

The high elf turned back to the guard who was waiting patiently at the edge of the room

"It doesn't seem to be any harm", she told him. 

"'it'??", I gasped, "Excuse me!! I am a HE!!", I looked down at myself, "I uh... I think..."

The guard gave me an irritated glare, but the woman's expression remained soft. 

"My apologies", she responded with a faint smile, "HE, doesn't seem to be any harm."

"Thank you!", I said. 

Finally, someone with some respect for moi! I've only been here for what, twenty minutes? And I've already been jailed and demonized! Overall? I'd give this place like 3 stars. It has potential, I guess, but the service is awful. 

"We'll have to issue some kind of warning about... 'him'", the guard said to the woman. 

"Oh, that won't be much trouble", she smiled, "I'm sure he'll be a lovely addition to our community."

Aw gee... I like this lady!

"Let's get you out of here now...", she unlocked my cell and shot the guard a glare when he reached for his weapon. 

With that I was finally let outside. Moving into this town must be a pain in the ass if this is how everyone gets in. The people here must _REALLY_ like it. That high elf lady is real nice though, maybe that's why they stay. 

She crouched down to my level and set a hand on my shoulder, "You're free to go now, but be cautious, the folks around here don't quite trust you yet. We'll issue an announcement about you as soon as we can so no one here gets the wrong idea, but try not to...surprise anyone"

I gave her a salute, "sure thing, ma'am!"

She smiled and sent me on my way. I was by myself again, still a bit shaken up after... whatever that was. Now, the whole town stood before me. Some of the town's people had returned to their regular activities, but others still looked at me with slight fear in their eyes. 

I really tried not to overthink it, but I couldn't get over the feeling of all of these eyes on me. I've never been one to have stage fright, but I suppose this was different. They were scared of ME. I guess what made me uncomfortable is the assumptions they might have been making. The thought of people looking at me and believing me to be some kind of monster made me feel... gross. I wasn't really sure what the general idea of skeletons were, but from what I had been seeing, they were something to be feared. 

I don't want people to fear me.

I pushed the thoughts to the back of my mind. I'm here to have a GOOD time and I'll be DAMNED if some scaredy cats fuck it up. I'm a strong independent dwarf, I don't need this. 

I ignored the paranoid stares and began weaving my way through town. I passed a few markets and food stands but nothing really caught my attention. I stopped in my tracks at an unfamiliar sound. An enchanting song, made up of sounds I couldn't describe. I immediately hunted down the source of the music, the melody drew me in like a pirate to a siren. 

At last I found my spot in a small crowd surrounding a single teifling, who sat on a stool. In the teiflings hands, however, was an instrument I had never seen before. A box shaped thing, that seemed to expand and retract. The teifling played some piano-like keys on the box as they squeezed and stretched it, presumably playing the notes on them.

I was completely hypnotized. The memories I had were vague and specific. I knew my race, my age, and good bit of common sense, but I had an acute knowledge of musical instruments. I didn't know how to play them, but I remembered their sound. The sound of this instrument, however, was nothing like anything I already knew. It was strange. It felt fun and bouncy like a trumpet, but graceful, like a violin. I needed to know more. 

I stayed and listened for what felt like hours, and approached the teifling after the crowd around them dispersed. 

As they began packing up their things I tapped their shoulder, "Hello!"

They just about fell out of their stool when they turned to face me. I continued anyway, "That was an amazing show! Where did you get that?", I pointed to the instrument in their hands. 

They still stared at me in shock. After a few moments of confused glances they attempted to readjust themselves. 

"th-this?", they stuttered, pointing at the instrument. 

I nodded ecstatically. 

"I g-got it f-from the m-music shop down the s-street", they pointed a shakey finger to the store in question. 

"Thank you! I wish you a good day!", I politely tipped my straw hat to them and turned to the music shop. 

The shop itself looked pretty spiffy. The front had a large display window, showing off all kinds of instruments. I let myself in and a halfling man was standing with his back to me, dusting off a few of the brass instruments. 

He turned around to face me, "Is there anything I can help you wi- AAAAAHH!", he jumped backwards and dropped the feathers duster in his hand. 

Now, it's not very often that I meet people shorter then me, being a 4'2 dwarf and all. But this halfling was probably around 3'6 and only came up to my chest. All of these strangers being terrified of me was really getting on my nerves but I had to let this guy off the hook. I mean, if I were a 3 foot dude that turned around to find myself looking up at a dirt covered skeleton I'd probably be pretty surprised too. Poor guy probably thought I was the grim reaper or something, which is a sentence I never thought I'd say. 

I tried to ease the tension by giving my friendliest, "Hello!!", but that only seemed to make the guy even more confused. 

He managed to squeak out a quiet,, "H-hello?", in return. That's progress at least!

"I would like to look at your selection of instruments!"

"H.... Huh??"

"That's okay, I'll just look around myself!"

With that I started perusing the store for that amazing instrument that the teifling was playing. I passed by strings, brass, wind, and percussion, but I couldn't seem to spot my goal. I was about to give up until, at last, in a pristine glass case, I saw it. 

It was almost as beautiful as it sounded. Decorated in bright pink and purple paint, I wanted so badly to just grab it right then and there. 

I noticed the halfling peeking from behind a display, watching me like a hunter. 

I looked to him and gestured to the instrument, "This is the one! What do you want for it?"

He jumped slightly at my voice at cautiously approached me. 

"The accordion?", he asked, pointing to the instrument. 

So that's what it was called! An exceptional name for an exceptional instrument!

"Yes! This 'accordion', may I have it?"

"Uh.. D-do you know how to play it?"

I paused. I guess I didn't really think of what I would do once I got it. What's the point of owning such magnificent instrument if I couldn't play it?

"Well... No...", I responded honestly. 

"W-we offer training in all of the instruments we sell. I c-could um... G-get you applied", he said while looking me up and down. 

"Wonderful! I'll take it then!"

"Um, yes! R-right away!", he hastily began unlocking the glass case and lifted the accordion from it. "These normally cost around 150 gold pieces... ", he looked up at me and his fearful expression returned, "B-but you can have it for free! Ha..."

"Really!? That's perfect, since I have no money!", I said, carefully taking the instrument from his hands. 

It was slightly heavier then expected, but the weight felt good in my hands. It was like this instrument was made for me. 

"I'll pay you back someday, promise!!"

"Um.... Great..Ah! Uh, hang on", the halfling quickly ran to the front counter and grabbed a sheet of paper from a pile. He returned to me and handed over the paper, "These are the dates and times for the classes, uh... F-feel free to join us."

I nodded and brought my new accordion to the front door, "Thank you for this opportunity, good sir! I swear to every god and goddess that I will defend this instrument with my life!! Er... death... You know what I mean!"

And I meant every word of that! If I ever go down, I'm going down with my accordion, that's a promise!!

I waved a goodbye to the shaken up shopkeeper and stepped outside where I saw the sun beginning to set. As the town fell under a warm orange light, the townsfolk were making their way to their homes. Standing under the darkening sky, I realized I didn't have a home to go to. I didn't feel tired at all, so I didn't feel the need to sleep, but being in this town at night alone felt...well, lonely. 

I sat myself down under the overhang of the music shop and watched the stars appear in the sky. As crazy as it may sound, sitting beside my newfound accordion made me feel less lonely. 

Actually now that I think about it that probably does sound really crazy doesn't it? Wow that's just sad actually... I'm not insane I swear. 

I don't talk to my accordion. Shut up. 

The desire to sleep never found its way to me, I guess that's just part of being dead. So I sat under the stars with my accordion until the sun rose again. Strangely, I wasn't bored at all. That night was... special. Yeah I know that sounds really dumb, but I don't have any other words to describe it. 

This whole undead thing? I'd give it a solid 8/10. Sometimes I feel like there isn't a point in staying. After all, I can't die of old age, and I don't have any kind of "master" to give me orders. I don't know why I'm here. I don't know why I was given this second chance but... dammit if I won't use it as best as I can. 

My first day of undeath is one I'll never forget, but that was a long time ago. 

Where am I now? Well, it's a bit complicated, and also a bit unbelievable. But I know when this is all over I'll have some great song ideas!

Speaking of which, I'll need to skidaddle. That'll be 200 gold pieces!

What's that look for? If you wanted a free story you should have asked one of the drunks at the tavern! Bards don't work for free, stupid!


End file.
